Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize