i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
