tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
