i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
