dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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