I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
