walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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