Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
