i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
