it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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