I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
