and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Randomize
