i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
