whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
