I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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