Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
