Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
