you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
