i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
