just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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