Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The best revenge is premature balding
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
