New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
