if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
