The beer is more important than you right now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
