ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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