I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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