Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
