He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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