is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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