Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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