Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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