No stitches, just platelets and will power
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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