drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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