She said her name was "party"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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