I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
