Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just high enough for therapy.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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