did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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