Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
