The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
