I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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