I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Panties = found
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
