I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
