ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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