Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Houston, we have a squirter
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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