I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
