Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
