her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
