Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
