Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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