Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
