Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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