I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
