turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
