Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
