yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
