He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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