Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
