I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
