Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize